Musings of Me

Some facebook updates

2010-01-14T23:59:00.004Z

OK so I have to admit my primary means of keeping in touch these days is facebook. So I tend to post anything mildly amusing or noteworthy in life there, rather than here, because I get a bigger audience and get more feedback! But, so you lot don't feel left out, here is a selection of my updates over the past wee while:

January 2010:
11 Jan 2010: Alex has tonight presented me with a long list of evidence proving that Santa is not real. I managed to counter-argue quite convincingly (because if he finds out then he WILL tell his little sisters, the bugger). He replied "FINE, but if I grow up and have children and they don't get any presents because you told me Father Christmas was real and he isn't, then it'll be all YOUR fault!

8 Jan 2010: I just mentioned going out to get fish and chips for tea. Within 10 seconds Josie has her wellies on (the wrong feet) and is at the door yelling "Let's go!"

6 Jan 2010: Alex and Hannah wandering round singing Kings of Leon "My sex is on fire." I told them it wasn't really an appropriate song for them to be singing. Hannah thinks, then says "OK, I'll make it socks, then if little people want to sing it, they can sing socks, not sex." And then wanders off singing "Woaah-oh - my socks are on fiiiire!"

6 Jan 2010: On the 12th day of Christmas, the morning held for me: 12 000 spilt cheerios, 11 bouts of shouting, 10 minutes lateness, 9 sibling squabbles, 8 woolly gloves, 7 checks for school closures, 6 spare shoes, 5 spi-iilt drinks...4 pairs of wellies, 3 school bags packed, 2 bobble hats, and 1 well-deserved cup of tea.

December 2009:
31 Dec 2009: A, h and cousin just disappeared upstairs saying "let's go and watch HSM and eat biscuits!" at 9.45pm. None of the adults can be bothered to stop them. Gotta love NYE.

24 Dec 2009: Alex is in a state of feverish excitement, to the point of unbearability. It's going to be a loooong day...

23 Dec 2009: Loving the fact that alex got josie up, took her downstairs and made all 3 of them breakfast this morning, giving me a good extra half hour in bed. Love him!

22 Dec 2009: The cat keeps looking out at the snow, then turning to me and miaowing reproachfully. It's not my fault, fella!!

20 Dec 2009: Just been woken up by alex and hannah excitedly describing what they've been doing downstairs on their own, which turns out to have been painting a model pig brown so it looks like it's done a poo. Hmm. Constructive.

18 Dec 2009: Final course results in: 2:1. I am now, I think, entitled to use the letters Dip. Psych. (Open) after my name...they could have thought of some more flattering abbreviations for the qualification!

Officially rubbish!

2010-01-10T21:56:00.022Z

Yet again...far too long between posts. Yet again - been busy. I've finished my Open University studies now, and am now the very proud posessor of a post-graduate diploma in psychology - 5 years in the making! Next step is to apply for an MSc in Occupational Psychology at a local university in September. Whether I'll get in or not is another matter altogether, but we will see!

Pierre's still working in the same place, looking for tax loopholes and investment opportunities (although that might be simplifying things a bit - I don't really understand it all!). Hannah's started at 'big school' with Alex, and is LOVING reception class and is doing really really well. Alex's literacy, previously so so behind, is continuing to soar ahead. He's now reading Enid Blyton books to himself and loving it. I never thought I'd see the day! Josie's now TWO and getting so grown-up. Not a baby any more and very independent.

Over the past few months - we've been on holiday to France with our friends the Martins and their friends, 10 kids between us, Alex and Hannah had an absolute ball riding around the campsite in a big gang all day! Also been to Suffolk and the New Forest in our own caravan. Really enjoying this caravanning lark, can't beat the kids just taking off and making new friends and sitting in the awning at night with a glass of wine people watching, and just being able to take off for a weekend and get away really cheaply.

We spent Christmas and Josie's birthday at home this year, but New Year in Bolton with Pierre's parents. In short, all is good!

A few pics to follow:

La Palmyre, July 2009: Alex, Hannah and me climbed the Phare de la Coubre. It was a long way up - and down!

Hannah and friends buried in the beach at Saint-Palais

Josie kitted out for the summer!

Friends of ours have a gorgeous and very long garden - one night in August we had a Yummy Mummy camp, with four mums and assorted children camping overnight at the top of the garden - kids running riot, but far enough away from neighbours for it not to be a worry, toasting marshmallows over a fire pit, and launching lanterns at dusk. Wonderful occasion, definitely to be repeated next year.

Pierre and I went to see U2 at Wembley Stadium. Awesome show - the stage set and rigging spectacle and just everything was like nothing I've ever seen before. We were a long way from the stage, but I have a camera with a big zoom, and love this shot of Adam Clayton and The Edge that I took.

August bank holiday weekend we took the caravan to Suffolk. This is Hannah meandering along the prom at Southwold.

Southwold has a Maize maze each summer. The kids loved it!

Hannah's first day at 'big school'.

Alex took this photo at Buckler's Hard in Hampshire in half term.

Hannah in her school nativity, with surprisingly synchronised choreography with her friend Thea.

Hannah the Christmas princess!

A first. All three kids playing together, nicely, at the same time. We usually have two playing with one left out - hoping to see more of this configuration in 2010!

Hannah and Alex are inspired by Strictly Come Dancing!

Josie's second birthday. Everything was 'In the Night Garden' themed, her current favourite thing. Please note the Upsy Daisy cake crafted by yours truly!

Don't panic!

2009-08-15T09:56:00.003Z

Alex and Hannah had me in stitches yesterday. They were playing at being fire officers. Alex had a lego boat and Hannah had a plastic helicopter. Alex said "Hannah quick, the boat's on fire, put it out!" Hannah replied "OK I'm lowering the winch down". Alex yelled "No Hannah! That's too slow! The winch won't work! Put the fire out now!!" Hannah yelled back "it's NOT too slow! That's what you have to do, put the winch down!" "No it's too slow!" "Not it's NOT!" They continued yelling at an over each other for a minute or so about winch versus no winch, with each getting increasingly exasperated, before Hannah eventually yelled "STOP PANICKING, ALEX!" So funny.

Hannah's bridesmaid duties

2009-08-15T09:41:00.007Z

Pierre's brother Dom got married in June; Hannah was a bridesmaid. A selection of pics...

Alex helping Pierre be an usher. Or a 'husher' as Hannah called it!

Family get-together

2009-08-15T09:32:00.003Z

We went away in our caravan in May near Nottingham; mum and dad came too, and my uncle and aunt and Grandparents came over for the day. It was nice to all get together since Peter and Julie live in America. Sadly my cousin Claire and sister Helen were missing.

so long?

2009-08-15T09:27:00.002Z

Good grief, has it really been 5 months since I updated this?? Must do better. News in brief: We're all fine, Pierre's job's going OK, I'm just about managing to keep up with my final year of studying for my pyschology degree, Alex's reading is now fabulous, although his spelling and writing still struggles; Hannah moves into reception and full time school in September, which she's really looking forward to, and Josie is growing up too fast!

Following a camping trip at Easter in which we decided that a tent and three small children is far too much like hard work, we bought our own touring caravan, which is fabulous! We've only used it for long weekends so far as our main holiday had already been booked, but we're probably going to take it to France for a couple of weeks next summer.

Sunday morning at the park - Hannah vanity pics, mostly

2009-03-27T23:09:00.008Z

Alex the superstar

2009-03-27T22:02:00.004Z

Very very proud parent moment coming up...

Long time readers/friends will be aware we have worried about Alex and dyslexia for a long time - way before he had formal literacy instruction in school - for all sorts of reasons which I can't be bothered right now to go into (read back through the early year or so of this blog for more details). Anyway, he's been significantly behind in reading and writing compared to his peers. At the end of Year 1 (Summer 2008) his teacher told us he was a year behind, and said she shared the same concerns as us...but they can't assess for dyslexia until age 7.

In Oct 08 he was a year behind his chronological reading age - ie he was aged 6y 3m, but had a reading age of 5y-ish. By just before Christmas - he was starting to catch up a little bit, but suddenly stopped fighting us at the slightest mention of reading. By Feb half term - more progress - 6m behind. Only 4 weeks later - ie now - he's now *AHEAD* of his chronological age, at 6y11m. His teacher still says he's playing catch up, as he's still behind the 'average' for his year - but I say b*gger off!! He's the third youngest in the class, with a June 27th birthday, has been a year behind until recently, he's made 14m progress in only 6m...playing catch up, my arse!! He's a superstar!!!!

He still has some way to go in comprehension (ie he can read but not always take in what he has read) and spelling, but that follows on from reading, I reckon. We are chuffed chuffed chuffed to bits with him, and with his school for all the extra help they have given him, and SO pleased he has done so magnificently. We've gone from worrying like mad that he would always be behind, and always struggle at school, to thinking 'he'll be FINE!' and that is a huge weight off our minds and one of the best things we could have asked for!

Actress/Model/Whatever?

2009-03-27T21:32:00.006Z

As soon as I got my camera out, Hannah was there, posing..."take a picture of me, Mummy! I'm a pirate! Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!" (she really did say that..!)

"Shiver me timbers!" (where does she get these phrases from?)

Flutter those eyelids

Now then. I'm not a big fan of celeb mags, but any cursory glance over 'Heat' or 'OK' will show countless starlets on the red carpet. Apparently this side on, elbow out, hip out, pose is the classic red carpet flattering pose that you will always see the celebs doing. So - er - why does my daughter know how to do it? I never buy these mags, I'm a jeans and trainers kind of woman, and yet I have a 4 year old who can strike a pose, instantly. She's a diva in waiting. West End - watch this space...

Hannah's musings on picking up dinosaurs

2009-03-27T20:54:00.003Z

Hannah: "Mummy? If you get a really tall person, what can stretch a reeeeallly long way, could they pick up a dinosaur?"
Me: Um..well no, because people and dinosaurs weren't on earth at the same time, so that would never happen (too literal for a 4 year old mind?!)
Hannah: Well - if you got a really tall stretchy person, could they pick up a pretend dinosaur, like what is in the museum?
Me: No, I think that would be too big to pick up.
Hannah: What about if the person could stretch *THIS* big (flings her arms out as far as they can go)?
Me:Nope, still too big.
Hannah: What about, if the stretchy person, could, like, maybe pick up a little flying dinosaur?
Me: (sensing this conversation will not end until she finds out a person could pick up a dinosaur!) - yep, I reckon that would work.
Hannah: OK!

Josie the minx!

2009-03-27T20:29:00.009Z

She's trouble, our Josie. In the nicest possible way, of course. She's got a habit of starting to do something she shouldn't (dangles food over the side of her high chair, about to throw on the floor...stands up on the sofa and starts to bounce...)...and she might only be 15 months old, but she understands 'no', and knows what is not allowed...so she starts to do these things, looks at me, grins, shakes her head at me like she's telling me 'I'm not allowed to do this, am I?" and then DOES IT ANYWAY! Grinning all the time. No respect for my authority, at all. Good job she's so cute or she'd be in trouble!

Caught red-handed emptying tupperware boxes out of a kitchen drawer

"What? These boxes? From this drawer??"
"Not me, guv"

"Yeah, OK! Bovvered?! I'm putting them back, OK!"

Laughter after tears - aka beautiful!

Hannah the insomniac

2009-03-27T20:26:00.001Z

Pierre was called upstairs late one night recently by Hannah crying. When he arrived and asked what the matter was, she sobbed "I can't sleep...I keep falling awake!"

News

2009-02-13T22:15:00.011Z

Overdue news update.

Pierre is still working for a corporate finance company in London. I'm just starting the final year of my psychology degree...two weeks in and I'm behind already (blame the snow/school closures and having kids around more than anticipated)! Alex is enjoying school and is starting to catch up with literacy - he's made 8 months progress in reading in 5 months, so although still a few months behind the 'average' is narrowing the gap. Hannah has just been given the first level of books in the reception year reading scheme, although she doesn't start reception until September, so she's a few months ahead of the 'average'. Josie is largely happy and placid and smiley - she has a fantastic sense of humour and loves to crawl away giggling her head off when she's been asked to come hither. She's just starting to walk - she can do a few steps in a row before falling over - so we're all pretty good!

Here's some recent pics of Josie...she tends to be missed from here a bit more than she should.

Alex put her in a box. Alex is always putting her in places. I don't think she minds, really.

This photo was taken approximately 11 seconds after we'd finished hanging the baubles...

Her first birthday. Not entirely sure what the birthday cake thing is all about...
Aaaah...NOW she gets it...
The aftermath!

2009-02-13T22:09:00.001Z

Hannah's huggles

Hannah came into me this morning when I was still in bed saying "I've come to give you a huggle, mummy. Which kind do you want?"

"I'd like a pink and purple striped one please," I said (see post below about the cuddle colour system).

"That's a reeeeally big massive kind" she told me, "is that why you wanted it?"

"Yeah! I always want the massive ones!" I said.

"But if you put that in your lung," she mused, "it would be SOOOO MASSIVE that your tummy might go POP! So I think you should put it in your huggle packet in your head instead and then it can go zzziip!"

What planet does my daughter live in?!

Kids photo shoot

2009-02-13T21:46:00.010Z

I took these photos trying to get a decent one of all three kids together that I could frame for my mum's birthday. It was a nightmare and nigh on impossible to get one single shot that had them all looking decent and towards the camera. However I think if you put a load of them together it kind of tells a story all of its own about the three of them. So here you go...

Snow days

2009-02-13T21:20:00.011Z

It has snowed here recently. A LOT - well - a lot for the UK! The kids had four out of five days off school recently and we still have snow patches nearly two weeks on. It's made life a little difficult at times but the kids have had fun!

Hannah falling over - again!

Cold, but happy!

Sledging in a blizzard

View from our window

Night time version

Walk to the sledging hill

Hannah having fallen over...again!

Alex at Anfield

2009-01-06T23:53:00.002Z

Pierre took Alex to Anfield on Boxing Day to watch Liverpool/Bolton. At one point there was apparently a hotly 'debated' foul which went against Liverpool. The LFC fans on the kop obviously made their feelings towards the ref known...!

Alex then asked "Daddy? Why does everyone have angry faces?"
Thinking quickly, Pierre responded "Because the referee's blind, Alex"
There was a pause, followed by "Daddy? Which one is the referee?"
"The one in black running around everywhere."
"But Daddy!" came the horrified response, "How can he run around if he can't see?!"

Hannah's cuddle system

2008-11-23T22:45:00.002Z

Hannah has a very complicated and well-organised system for doling our her cuddles. First - they are colour-coded. She has pink and purple striped ones, blue and red ones, white and silver ones, and just really any colour that takes her fancy.
Second - they are named. This results in occasional discourse as follows: Pierre - "Hannah, can I have a cuddle?" Hannah - "Nope! I don't have any with your name on!"
Third - storage system. These various cuddles are stored in her cheek packet, tummy packet or head packet.
Fourth - origin - she tells us she has run out of cuddles with our name on, or of our chosen colour, and that she will have to visit the cuddle shop "in America" to re-stock.

Fortunately, if you negotiate well enough, it seems to take a matter of seconds to visit the cuddle shop in America for her to re-stock and deliver your requested cuddle. Awwww...

The many functions of breasts...

2008-11-07T23:05:00.002Z

Alex asked me the other day why some ladies have boobs even if they don't have babies to feed. I told him so that they were ready if they ever did have babies - and then whispered mischeviously "and also, some grown up men quite like ladies boobs."

He giggled, and said "do they like to jiggle them?"

I said yes, they do.

Alex giggled and told Hannah "Hannah you will have boobs one day!"

And Hannah, wayward child that she is, replied gleefully "YES! And when I have boobs MIKEY can jiggle them!"

(I should explain that Mikey is one of her best friends and the boy who she maintains she will one day marry. So she does have some standards. But still!!)

Hannah's 4th birthday

2008-11-07T22:29:00.012Z

I can't believe Hannah's four already. It only seems like yesterday I was posting pictures of Alex's 4th birthday!

We hired the school hall and a magician and let the professional take the strain - he was really good and Hannah had a ball!

Hannah's Peppa Pig birthday cake - made by me (with a little help from Pierre's mum)!

Auntie Hels looking after Josie

Hannah trying to figure out how the magic was done

Blowing out her candles

Hannah magicked a real life rabbit out of a hat!

Hannah's musings on the capacity of small cars

2008-11-07T22:24:00.003Z

Hannah: Mummy? Do you think you can get two seats in the front and two seats in the back of a car what is as small as a mice?
Me: Um...yes, I think you can.
Hannah: What, even a car what is as small as a tiny mice?
Me: Yes
Hannah: Even one as small as a tiny baby mice?
Me: Yes, even that small.
Hannah: EEEVen...even a car what is as small as a baby mice what hasn't been born yet?

Holiday

2008-09-03T19:20:00.005Z

We went on holiday to the West coast of France in July with our friends the Martins and their 3 kids. It was the most relaxing holiday since we've had children! We had free time! The older Martin and Clarke sprogs went off to the kids club on the campsite, or went off on their bikes, or pottered around playing nicely together - parents not required! Josie is still young enough to stay where she's put and play with her toys for a while quite happily. I read three books! Three! I almost didn't take any with me, thinking I wouldn't have a chance to read them.

Sadly I fear next summer won't be quite the same, with a spirited 18 month old toddling around looking for escapades - but I will remember this holiday very fondly in the interim.

There are far too many photos to post on here but you can see them here if you're interested - http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=46750&id=691416300&l=16b9a7f54c

Alex's arty trousers

2008-09-03T19:13:00.002Z

Alex has decided he's going to be a professional artist when he grows up. He was so chuffed the other day when my Dad bought a dinosaur picture from him for 30p, his little face was beaming from ear to ear!

As we were climbing into the car to go home, Alex asked "Mummy, does one of my trousers say that I'm good at drawing?"

"Trousers? What do you mean your trousers say you're good at drawing?" - I answered, more than a little confused.

"You know!" he said crossly. "When there's a little bit inside of you which says what you're going to be like - like brown hair..."

"Ah!" I laughed as I recalled a recent conversation about inheritance. "You mean genes!"

Laundry puzzle

2008-09-03T19:00:00.003Z

When you wash a duvet cover with other smaller items of laundry, HOW on earth do all the smaller items manage to find the duvet cover entry, sneak in and wriggle their way all the way to the opposite end of the cover and enmesh themselves in the corners? They do all that while being crushed in a tiny space by their fellow washing machine inhabitants, rotated at speed and being flung against the sides by centrifugal force.

If a bloody sock can do all that, why does it take me about five minutes to locate and get into the duvet cover entrance and retrieve said sock from the inside corner with the benefit of being stationary, having plenty of space, plus of course eyes, two hands, long arms and opposable thumbs? I really hate being outwitted by a sock/duvet cover partnership. They shouldn't be that clever...

Hello!

2008-07-08T21:46:00.000Z

It's been a while...life's quite busy with three kids!

We're all doing OK. Josie went through a '3 am is playtime' phase for a few weeks but seems to have grown out of that now, thank goodness. Hannah continues to be very funny, with a touch of the diva thrown in. I asked them both to tidy up their things the other week and Alex did, but she didn't move. When I asked her again, she told me "Alex is doing it all by himself." I said "Yes, but it'd be nice if you helped him, wouldn't it?" - at which she sighed theatrically, flicked back her hair with a diva-ish toss of her head, wrinkled up her nose in distaste, and said wearily "I don't want to (insert sigh). It's too much exercise for a little girl."

Alex is fine but continues to find the reading and writing basics of school harder than he should do. He's making progress but is still the best part of a year behind his peers. We're going to arrange for a basic dyslexia-type screening over the summer. I spoke to someone about it and while he's too young for the diagnostic tests to give a concrete assessment, they can get an idea of his strengths and weaknesses and start to help him, hopefully. While they can't say definitively he's dyslexic, the lady at Dyslexia Action I saw looked at his profile and hmmmed "if this isn't dyslexia I don't know what it is, then!" so it's looking increasingly likely.

Other than that - I shall post a few recent-ish photos for your perusal. See posts below!

June pictures

2008-07-08T21:32:00.001Z

A day out at Knebworth...

Alex's idea of heaven - an ice-cream for each hand!

And back at home: so many toys...so little time...

Alex's 6th birthday

2008-07-08T21:15:00.000Z

NEVER AGAIN!!!

I don't mean Alex turning six...although clearly, that will, er, never happen again. I mean never again will we attempt to manage 12 children and a baby without enlisting WAY more help...

Alex wanted a bowling party, and his birthday conveniently fell on an inset day, so we scheduled a game of bowling for that afternoon followed by a party meal at the restaurant opposite.

Ohhh my God. Children running off. Children crawling under the seats. Children climbing over the seats. Children chasing bowling balls down the lanes. Consistently at least three children attempting to pick up balls and/or bowl simultaneously, regardless of when their actual turn was. Children making faux-farting/burping noises - loudly. Children lifting their tops up / taking their trousers down (clearly, this is hilarious when you're six). Children throwing balls backwards. Children throwing balls sideways...

Thankfully we had asked one of our friends, who had two children attending, to stay and help, otherwise Pierre and I would have been legging it out of the bowling alley and disowning the lot of them, I think!

Alex enjoyed it though, which was (I suppose?) the main thing. Next year - maximum of five friends permitted...

The many faces of Hannah

2008-07-08T20:56:00.019Z

The following photos were all taken within a five minute time-frame and, I think, quite neatly show the free-flowing moods and expressions of Hannah!

Concentrating... Enthralled
Amused
Cheeky Cross
Diva strop
back to (comparitively) normal!

Things that intrigue you when you're 3 and a half...

2008-07-08T20:55:00.003Z

Question from Hannah when travelling on the A1 the other day:

"Mummy? How do fish swim past each other?"

Recent photos

2008-05-14T21:57:00.009Z

Alex without stabilisers! He's soooo chuffed with himself!

Dad and son moment

Gran and Josie
Alex and Pierre splashing each other...think Alex came off worst!

Guess who's in charge in this sibling relationship?!

Me and Josie...God I look knackered!

Josie's first swim!

On guard!!

2008-04-27T20:53:00.023Z

Alex and Hannah playing soldiers in the garden. Hup! Two, three, four...

...defending the garden from bees with their trusty swords...

...but while Hannah's defending the homestead...

...Alex is mucking about bashing a completely defenceless space hopper...

Major Hannah decides it's time to get serious! Quick march!

Time for proper sentry duty. Look out for bees...concentrate, now...

Look! There's one!

Awww...it was only a fly...

...bored, now...

Got one!

Emboldened by his success, Alex decides it's time to defend the tulips...

Take that, you nasty stingy flying thing!

Alex and Hannah...defending the garden from the scum of the insect world!

[Edited to add: I don't routinely label my children! They'd been to a birthday party...!]

More randomness from Hannah

2008-04-12T11:54:00.002Z

She is really coming out with some stuff at the moment...

The other day we were having a conversation about where food comes from. We covered chicken, also pork, ham and bacon comes from pigs, beef comes from cows...

Pierre asked her "Where does milk come from?" and she answered "Cows!" He then said "And where do eggs come from?" "Rabbits!" she told us. "Noo, eggs don't come from rabbits!" we said.

She told us crossly "They do! From the Easter Bunny!"

****

Yesterday I took the kids to McDonalds for tea. Yeah I know. I'm lazy. They were tucking into their food and Hannah was pondering the big McDonald's sign above the counter, complete with the big golden arches 'M'. "Look mummy!" said Hannah - who is just learning her alphabet and figuring out the first letters in words - "Look! 'M' is for CHIPS!"

More confusion

2008-04-10T11:26:00.003Z

Hannah: "Mummy, how old was I when I was born?"

Hannah: "Mummy, penguins can't skate on ice, they can only shovel" (shuffle)

2008-04-02T18:10:00.003Z

Alex and Hannah were playing shops the other day, and deciding who would take on which role. Alex said to Hannah "Hannah, I will be in charge and be the cash register person, and you can deliver things to people and be the serviette!"

2008-03-14T12:33:00.002Z

I'm sitting here and Hannah is repeatedly throwing herself on the sofa and falling off again and giggling her head off. I asked her "Are you being a bit of a nutcase, Hannah?" She replied, giggling, "No! I'm just being a satsuma!"

Swearing fingers

2008-03-03T19:04:00.003Z

Alex just asked me "Mummy? Is it bad to use your swearing fingers?"

I asked him what he meant, and he showed me the middle finger salute!!

I told him yes it was bad to use that finger like that to swear and to use the 'V' sign, too. I hasten to add he hasn't picked that up from us. (unlike bloody, or bugger, which he does occasionally come out with. But we can take the moral high ground on this one!) I guess he must have picked it up from his nice middle class village school! Humph!.

He frowned and said "Why is it bad, because it doesn't hurt anyone not like hitting them or something."

I then, thinking I was clever, launched into an explanation of how the archers at the battle of Agincourt got their first two fingers chopped off when they were captured and that's how it turned into a kind of gloating rude signal (no idea if this is correct or not, but I'm sure I read it somewhere!). He nodded and said...

"Ok. But why is *this* one rude, then?" - and gave me the middle finger salute again...

I wasn't going to get into that one so resorted to the failsafe of parents backed into a corner the world over...

"Because it just is, OK?"

Manana, Manana

2008-03-03T19:00:00.002Z

Hannah and Alex were very excited last week because Auntie Helen was coming to visit at the weekend. They asked every day when she was arriving, and finally on Friday were told "tomorrow".

A bit later in the day Hannah asked me "Mummy? Is it tomorrow yet?"

I replied, laughing, "No."

"When is it tomorrow?" She asked.

"Tomorrow!" I replied.

The two faces of Josie

2008-02-21T22:29:00.003Z

Happy face:

Sad face:

Pierre and Josie

2008-02-19T14:21:00.005Z

Pierre and Josie appreciating each other

Pierre grinning like a lunatic to make Josie smile...

...and Josie's now thinking "What kind of face is *that*, father?!""

Little cutie!

More Josie pics

2008-02-03T11:16:00.000Z

Josie at 1 month old

2008-01-31T22:24:00.000Z

Ooh she's looking increasingly ginger...poor Alex is going to end up looking like a foundling - such a dark little boy with two ginger sisters!

Hannah-isms

2008-01-31T22:13:00.001Z

Just a couple of amusing things Hannah's said recently....

On a Sunday evening, when Pierre asked Hannah for a cuddle -but hadn't had a shave all weekend - Hannah's response was "No, I don't want to, because your brussels sprouts are prickly." We assume she meant bristles!

****

In the car this morning, Hannah told me "Mummy, I can absolutely see TWO things at the same time! I'm magic!"

****

After a conversation about why Josie does poos in her nappy and is too little to use the toilet, Hannah told me "Josie hasn't got a willy, because she's a girl. She's got girlie bits."

I told her that's right.

She then said "Josie has got girlie bits, like pigs..." (she stammered a bit at this point and I wondered where her thought process was leading!) - "like pigs, like pigs, have girlie TAILS!" - she said very triumphantly...bless her.

I had to explain the difference in sound between 'c' and 'g'...

Cx

Hannah's first day at school

2008-01-10T20:09:00.000Z

Hannah started nursery school today - she'll be going 5 afternoons a week from now on. In uniform. She seems too little, but looks sooo grown up all dressed up. She was very excited about it all and took it all in her stride. She told me her favourite thing she did at school was "reading books".

Alex was very chuffed that Hannah is joining him at school. He wrote her a note in class in honour of her first day which they let him deliver to her classroom in person. It said "buu ( - that's supposed to be 'dear' - he often spells phonetically and got d and b mixed up - he meant to write d-uu, pronounced dee-uh) Hannah, I wish you where at school Hannah" - decorated with lots of kisses. He can be soo sweet when he wants to be!

Here's a slightly blurry photo - taken on camera phone, so sorry about the quality!

Everybody needs a belly for a pillow - mark 2

2008-01-10T20:05:00.000Z

More Josie photos

2008-01-10T20:00:00.000Z

Welcome Josie Ann Clarke

2007-12-30T20:07:00.000Z

Baby Josie arrived at 5.50am on Thursday 27th December 2007 after a 12-ish hour labour. She weighed 9 pounds 2 and a half ounces, so not quite as big as her big sister was (9 pounds 11), and thankfully nowhere near the 10 pounds a couple of midwives predicted!

Alex is besotted, and keeps showering her with kisses and stroking her hair at the most inconvenient moments - especially as he has a stinking cold so is thoughtfully passing on all his germs. Bless him though. The first morning she was home and she was crying, he came upstairs to us with a baby bottle (unsterilised) filled with cow's milk for her. I had to gently explain that she's having milk from mummy at the moment, and that we have to sterilise everything - I felt dreadful taking the wind out of his sails.

Hannah was initially very wary - I asked for a cuddle on Day 1 when I was holding Josie and she said "not if you're holding that thing" - 'that thing' being her baby sister! But now she's referring to her as "the new baby" and has even given her a very tentative kiss on the head a couple of times, and I've given her the job of choosing Josie's outfit every day.

Josie is very much into cuddles and is making life fairly hard work by refusing to sleep unless held, but hopefully that will change at some stage!

Pics:

Christmas is coming

2007-12-18T21:38:00.001Z

Just some photos of the kids doing the tree

Alex as Joseph

2007-12-18T21:23:00.000Z

Alex's stint at Joseph in the school play - you might have to turn the sound up a bit!

We're very proud of him because he's naturally very stage-frighty and doesn't do dressing up, even at home. He seemed to think his costume was cool, in this case...although he did complain that the cloth on his head didn't match the robe, and afterwards said "I had a bit of a dress to wear, didn't I, mummy?" with a look of slight distaste!

At the end all the children filed up the middle of the audience. I gave Alex a thumbs up as he passed, and he stopped and asked me very loudly "will you buy me a cake now, mummy?"

Food obsessed, as ever!

Burn baby burn

2007-11-23T21:08:00.000Z

Hannah jogged happily into our bedroom the other morning, bounded up onto the bed, and merrily announced "Mummy! If you put the new baby on the fire, it would burn, wouldn't it!"

I gulped and informed her yes it would...but it's probably not a good idea to do that, is it...

I'm hoping she was merely making an observation on the dangers of fire, rather than hatching plans involving fratricide...but even so, I think leaving her in the room alone with the new baby may not be quite such a good idea...

2007-11-05T19:27:00.000Z

Just have to relay a conversation I had with Alex this morning. He's *really* overtired right now, and when he's tired he's very very argumentative and rude. I told him this morning after the seventeenth argument over getting his socks on that he's not very nice to live with at the moment, and he yelled back "I AM!! I do nice drawings and I'm good at lego models and I do lots of nice tidying - AND I can grate cheese! WHY am I not good to live with??!"

The ability to grate cheese is clearly high on his priority list for future housemates!

The lot of the grandfather is to take abuse...

2007-11-05T19:22:00.000Z

When we were camping over the summer Hannah saw my Dad with no shirt on and asked him "Grandpa, why have you got boobs?"

Then this weekend when staying with Pierre's parents she looked at his Dad's bald patch and told him "Grandad, you've got a hole in your hair!"

Ah well. At least she's insulting both Grandfathers equally. I think they were more tolerant than the teenage supermarket check out boy she embarrassed last month, when Hannah informed me VERY loudly "Mum, that man has got spots on his cheek, hasn't he?"

Three is the magic number

2007-11-05T19:18:00.000Z

Ever since her birthday Hannah has an obsession with the number three. She feels that as she's three everything possible in life must agree with that number. She has to have three sweets when allowed "because I'm three, aren't I?" (of course it then follows that Alex must have five, which he's chuffed about!!).

Anyway. I kissed her on the forehead the other morning and she pointed to it and asked "What's that called?" I told her "that's your forehead."

"No!" She wailed. "I can't have a forehead! I'm not four! I'm THREE!"

Colour confusion

2007-10-30T12:03:00.000Z

We were playing 'I spy' in the car at the weekend...we often use colours not letters so that Hannah can join in too. I said "I spy with my little eye, something that's orange."

Alex yelled "Hannah's hair!"

Cue anguished wail from Hannah..."My hair isn't orange! I've got RED hair!"

Hannah is awake

2007-10-29T21:09:00.000Z

We've just moved Hannah and Alex into bunk beds into the same room to make room for the baby. Currently we're paying them 10p each to a)go to sleep nicely in the evening and b)stay in bed until a half decent time in the morning, because both are a bit of a nightmare! This is a change for Hannah in particular as she used to wake up gently around 8am when she was in her own room and then surprise us with a comment from behind her closed door when she got bored. I thought I'd therefore commemorate, before I forget them, the lovely ways Hannah used to let us know she was awake.

- "Muummmeeee...please can I wake up?"

- "Mummy, look! I'm upside down!" (I opened the door. She was standing on her head on her bed with her bum in the air and a big grin on her face)

- "Mum! I'm on the floor!" (opening the door revealed her bed bare, and her entire bed clothes, teddies etc and Hannah, on the floor in a make-shift bed).

- "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round..."

- "One, two, three four five, once I caught a fish alive..."

- "Mum! I've got my finger in my ear, mum!" (I opened the door and she was lying down with a huge grin and her finger was, indeed, inserted in her ear)

- "Mummy!! I can't see!" (I opened the door and found her sitting up with her head back and her teddy over her eyes).

- Silence...I opened the door to wake her up and found her sitting in bed, surrounded by ALL the books from her shelf, ALL her teddies, and a plastic telephone. She immediately looks at me innocently and proclaims "I wasn't playing!"

Hannah's 3rd birthday

2007-10-29T20:46:00.001Z

Hannah was 3 on 11th October. She had her first proper birthday party in a local pub with a play den. Here's some pics!

Opening presents

Playing with her pressie from Alex (he chose it because he wanted it, really!)

Hannah blowing her candles out with a mouthful of pizza...so ladylike

Birthday girl in the playden

Alex and Hannah copying strictly come dancing

2007-10-21T19:11:00.000Z

Here (hopefully) is a little vid of Alex and Hannah giving a living room performance of Strictly Come Dancing!

Identity crisis?

2007-09-16T19:47:00.000Z

I overheard a conversation between the kids the other day which went like this:

Hannah: "Hannah?"

Alex: "I'm not Hannah, I'm Alex."

Hannah: "Hannah?" (pause) "Yes?"

Alex: (crossly) "I'm NOT Hannah!"

Hannah: "I know! I'm talking to myself!"

Camping in Littlehampton

2007-09-16T19:37:00.000Z

We had a long weekend camping on the South coast with mum, dad and Helen. We went and did the Portsmouth shipyard on Saturday, and mooched around Littlehampton on Sunday.

Dad and Alex rustling up dinner

The Warrior and the spinnaker tower
The gang going into the Victory

France holiday pics

2007-09-16T19:17:00.000Z

We went to a campsite next to Port Grimaud - on the bay of St Tropez. It was great apart from the fact we were about 100 yards from the main entertainment stage which had live bands on every night until 11pm. So the kids were overtired...but apart from that it was great, and we all loved it.

Alex and Hannah driving the train on the campsite fairground

Pierre and the kids making a harbour

Flying Hannah!

Alex doing star jumps

Alex watching the boats

Hannah looking sweaty!

On the way back from a 'pretty stone' finding trip

Alex looking like the artful dodger, nicking Pierre's lemonade

Me and the kids in Port Grimaud

Catch up

2007-09-16T18:55:00.000Z

It's been a while...general update...

June: Pierre lost his job! He was gutted for a bit but I was delighted. He'd been miserable for AAAAAAGES and should have left long before he was pushed. And he got a big pay-off. So me and the kids have had him home all summer long, nice and relaxed and unstressed, which has been brill. Hannah in particular has really bonded with him - she only ever used to see a knackered Daddy at weekends but they've got really close over the summer since he's been around more. He's now got a new job - he got not one but TWO job offers simultaneously, so had a choice, which was nice! Only drawback is that it's in Hampshire, a 2 hour drive away, so he's planning on working from home a couple of days a week once he's settled in. If that works out it'll be great as he'll be around in the mornings and evenings to see the children which he never was before.

July: Alex finished his time at Lordship Farm School in Letchworth. He was a bit sad that he wouldn't see his best friend Pavan at school any more, but otherwise he was completely unpeturbed. I went to Nottingham Uni for a week for a residential school for my course. We had to design and run our own pyschology experiment, and analyse the results. It was very long days - working 9am-9pm sometimes - so a bit knackering but fun and nice to meet other students doing the same as me, as I'm usually stuck at home on my own with the books.

August: we went on holiday to the south of France. I'll post pics in a separate post.

September: Alex started his new school! It's lovely. Very posh, they've obviously chucked money at it. As it's a brand new school for our development it's not yet full - Alex is in a combined yr1/yr2 class which only has eleven pupils!! He's getting so much individual attention and I think is developing a bit of a crush on his teacher, the very smiley Miss Slade. He was one of the founder students and was in a photo call for the local paper - see the article here http://www.biggleswadetoday.co.uk/bigg/SLIDESHOW-New-school.3177513.jp for as long as it stays on their site.

And here's a picture of him on his first day at his new school:

Alex's fifth birthday party

2007-07-12T21:49:00.000Z

I'm afraid I didn't take many photos of this momentous occasion, due mainly to being slightly frazzled by the bead incident (read saga in full below). But here are a few I did take.

Alex's sports day

2007-07-12T21:42:00.000Z

Here are some pics of Alex in action at his sports day. It was a very non-competitive mini-olympics, and they competed mostly in teams - but he did come third out of about 30 kids in a running race around the field. We consider he was robbed, as a)he skipped around the first 30 yards, and b) the boy who came second cut off a huge corner. So really he won. Naturally.

Small boy + small bead = trouble...

2007-07-12T21:25:00.000Z

Picture the scene. The day of Alex's 5th birthday party. Frantic pre-party preparations in full swing. Alex chucks a box of beads across Hannah's bedroom, and both of them are instructed to pick them up and return them to the box.

Five minutes later, Alex appears downstairs in tears, with a finger up his left nostril.
"Mummy! There's something up my nose, and it hurts!"

I do my Sherlock Holmes act and cleverly deduce that the presence of beads may have something to do with his distress.

"Is it a bead?" I ask.
"No, I don't think so," he sobs.
"What is it then?"
"I don't know!"

I examine his nose but can't see anything. We try and get him to blow his nose and he bloody SNIFFS - hard - instead. Noooooo!

"Alex did you put a bead up your nose?" I ask him.
"I don't know, I might have done" was the answer.
"Alex, it's important you tell us what it is. Is it a bead?"
"Maybe, I think it might be, yes," he finally concedes.

Party, and 15 kids descending on the house - minus four hours. Fantastic timing.

We call NHS direct, who confirm our suspicions that when one has a 'foreign body' up one's nose, one ought to pay a visit to A&E pronto. So off Pierre and Alex trot.

They couldn't get it out in A&E, so they were sent to the plastic surgery ward, who used various proddy pokey sucky things to try and get the thing out, but Alex was getting distressed at having the above implements inserted in his left nostril (and who can blame him) and wouldn't keep still. They sent him away to calm down, and Pierre called me to come and help. I called mum, dad and Helen to continue party preparations and off I trotted to the hospital. We returned to the plastic surgery ward and waited an hour or so - eventually they said the doctor had been called to an emergency so we were sent home and told to come back the next day to the children's ward, and to expect a general anaesthetic. We got home just as Alex's party guests were arriving.

Long story short, we spent the vast majority of the following day in the hospital waiting for a theatre slot, and for him to be allowed out following the anaesthetic, in the middle of which Alex spent 15 minutes in theatre and had the bead extracted.

In the recovery room and with all pressure off, he finally confessed to a nurse what possessed him to put the bead up there in the first place. He told her "me and Hannah were playing hide and seek with the beads." He then paused, and a sneakily trimphant grin crept onto his face, before he continued - "and I did find the BEST hiding place, didn't I?!"

He was instructed not to consider his nose a valid hiding place in the future.

Gluttons for punishment????

2007-06-17T21:25:00.001Z

Baby Clarke number THREE (gulp) is expected...

Hannah wants a sister. Alex wants a brother. That's going to go well, then.

Oh, and it's due on 25th December. Well - I guess that makes for an interesting Christmas!

You know you have small children when...

2007-06-16T09:11:00.000Z

...you're woken at 6am when someone deposits a plastic box, a loo roll holder, some string, some sticky tape and some scissors onto your stomach and through the groggy haze of sleep you hear a little voice saying "can we make a crocodile, mummy?"

...you own shares in vanish carpet mousse

...it takes you five minutes to get out of the car because someone NEEDS to put their 'special leaf' in their pocket before they move

...you spend 10 minutes every morning convincing your first born of the merits of wearing underwear

...the most commonly used insult in your household is "poo-poo head"

...you live with people who are very happy to tell you, unprompted, that you have a fat bottom / wobbly tummy

...you find yourself refereeing an argument, in which one party is reduced to tears, over whether or not Father Christmas eats lollipops

...you have experienced the joys of someone else's poo under your fingernails

...you measure time in lengths of kids' TV programmes. For example - "how long until x, mummy?" "Half an hour." "How long is half an hour?" "Two Maggie and the Ferocious Beast programmes." "Ok!"

...the material item you most fear losing is not the most valuable, it's a soggy, scruffy, stuffed dog that's falling apart and cost about £2. But woe betide the family if it were to be mislaid. Toddler would ensure that DOOM follows!

Smart arse

2007-06-09T19:49:00.000Z

We have a geographical child prodigy on our hands. We bought Alex a wooden jigsaw of Europe some time ago, but he's not interested. Hannah, on the other hand, does it about twenty times a day, and can do it by herself practically blindfolded - and knows almost all the country names to boot. She usually keeps up a monologue along the lines of "Where's Italy. Ah! There it is. Mummy, I can't find Norway! Oh! I'm sitting on Norway!"

I knew that she knew France, Spain, Portugal, Italy and Norway but thought that was it. Then today I watched her searching for Ireland and correctly locating and placing it, and then she messed around with Germany, putting it deliberately in the wrong place and giggling. "Do you know what that's called?" I asked. "Yes! It's Germany!" she answered, turning it round and putting it in properly. She then put Romania in, and feeling a bit surplus to requirements I tried to join in by telling her "That one's called Romania."

"Yes, it is Romania! Good girl, mummy!" She told me in a tone of delighted surprise at my cleverness. I sat there for a moment, slightly taken aback. It slowly dawned on me that I'd just been patronised by a two year old. In an effort to reclaim my natural position of parental superiority, I pointed to Bulgaria and said "what's that one called then?" in a slightly petulant tone. "Bulgaria," she proclaimed confidently. I skulked off to lick my wounds. Toddler - 1. Mummy - 0.

Love. Yuck.

2007-05-25T19:01:00.000Z

Alex and Hannah were being nice to one another the other night - Hannah brought Alex his pajama bottoms and he gave her a kiss and hug and said "I love you, Hannah. We are going to get married when we are bigger, aren't we?"

Hannah happily agreed. I had to dampen their enthusiasm and explain that brothers and sisters can't get married. Crestfallen, Alex said "but I want to marry Hannah!" I explained that it's not allowed. He said "is it against the law?" and was very disappointed that it was.

I gave him a cuddle and told him that when he's old enough lots of girls will want to marry him because he's clever and kind and handsome. He told me "no, they won't" in a strop. I said "oh yes they will. And do you know what else? They will want to give you lots of kisses." He screwed up his face in disgust. "Ewww. No!"

By this time I was having fun, so evilly I told him "Yeah, they will, lots of biiiig sloppy kisses. All the time!". With this he jumped off my lap and told me, with a face like thunder, "Stop it mummy! Now you're just being RUDE!"

Tee hee.

Alex's new school

2007-05-21T18:09:00.000Z

We've had formal confirmation of Alex's place at the new local lower school (http://www.fairfield.beds.sch.uk) in September, and told him he's moving school a few days ago. He's always known it might be a future possibility but nothing more than that - so we were worried about how he'd take it. He's actually blown me away with his reactions, I'm so pleased. We had a very small, token "I don't want to!" but that was quickly outweighed by interest once we told him how small it would be, and how he would be one of the biggest children, (it'll only go up to year 2 at first) and what his new uniform would be. We've shown him a plan of the school and where everything will be, and a picture of the new Head, and he's really excited, actually. His main concern was "will I have to look after the little children?" once we told him he'd be one of the oldest. I said not unless he wanted to but it would be nice if he played with everyone, because everyone would know each other, and he said "but they might give me hugs!" in disgust. Well, if that's his main worry then we're laughing, aren't we? I'm sure when it gets closer he'll be nervous but I really think it's going to be so good for him - and the fact that he's not at all distraught about leaving his current school tells me we're doing the right thing, definitely. He'll be going from a school of 400 with 55 children in his class to a school of maximum 90 - probably less - with a class of less than 30. SO going to be good for him. He's a big fish in a small pond kind of boy I reckon.

Animal crackers

2007-05-21T18:04:00.000Z

After the 15th incidence of lunacy from my daughter the other day I told her "Hannah, you're a nutcase."

She giggled and told me "No. I'm not a nutcase."

I said "what are you then?"

She laughed, started prancing round the room and yelled "I'm a BIG HIPPO!"

My point, I think - proven.

RIP Monty: Sept 2000 - April 2007

2007-05-21T17:48:00.000Z

We lost our oldest pussy cat a few weeks ago - we realised one tea time that he hadn't been around all day, so Pierre went looking for him and found him dead by the side of the main road. He didn't look too bad but had obviously had had a big blow to the head. Pierre brought him home and we buried him in the garden. Prizes for inducing simultaneous tears and laughter go to Alex, whose graveside soliloqy went something like this:

"Goodbye Monty, I hope you have a lovely time in Heaven tomorrow, and I hope you have lots of pussy cat friends to play with up there, and I hope somebody will feed you so you're not hungry, and we will miss you a lot," *pauses - changes to cross voice* - "But Monty you are a VERY naughty cat, because you should have looked both ways when you crossed the road then you wouldn't have got runned over."

French toilets

2007-04-12T20:23:00.000Z

On the way home from Disneyland Hannah needed a wee, so we stopped at a rest stop, which happened to have those 'starting block' kind of toilets where you have to stand up and squat. Hannah was NOT pleased. "Come on, Hannah, I'll hold your hands and you have to stand up and do it" I cajoled, knowing if she refused we'd have a major wee catastrophe on our hands five minutes down the road.

"I can't do a wee standing up! I haven't got a willy!" was her horrified response.

Tummy memory

2007-04-10T15:16:00.000Z

Alex remembered something quite impressive the other day, can't remember what now - so Pierre said "that's clever, remembering that. How did you do that?" Alex replied "I've got a scrapbook in my tummy!" Pierre said "Ah, so do you write things down in your scrapbook to remember them?" Alex said nonchalently "No, I put pictures in it so I remember!"

Disneyland

2007-04-10T14:40:00.000Z

We've just had a slightly fraught visit to Disneyland Paris - it was SO busy, and Pierre was mostly to be found wandering around muttering "bloody foreigners" under his breath. It did get frustrating watching the nth Euro-chav blatantly queue jump in front of us, I have to admit..!

Anyway. Kids appeared to enjoy it most of the time. Here's a few photos.

The textbook bedtime routine

2007-04-02T10:20:00.000Z

Ahhh. You know that feeling. Sunday evening. Children all bathed, hair-washed, squeaky clean and cosy in their PJs, ready for that nice calm, cuddly winding down time before bed.

And what do we do? Chuck 'em out in the garden to run themselves ragged and get all grass-stained and muddy.

Oh well! They went to bed tired, if grubby!

The daily trials of life with a two-year old

2007-04-02T08:54:00.000Z

It's now 9.45am. I thought I'd share with you the reality of my morning negotations with Hannah so far.

She woke up at 8-ish, but I left her in her room while I got dressed - so had to listen to her yelling "Mummy! Wake me up, mummy!". Not too bad.

I went in to get her up and she was standing on her bed. She shouted "I'm standing up!" at me, then bounced on her bed and hit her head and disolved into tears, so kisses and cuddles were required.

I took her PJs off and got some knickers out for her. Not the right knickers. "I want my peppa pig knickers!" She wailed. Of course. Silly me.

Peppa Pig knickers were duly found and I started to put them on for her. "No!!! Me do it!!" She wailed. OK. I watched her trying to stand on one leg holding onto her bed with one hand and pull her knickers on with the other hand and then suggested she sat on the floor to do it. She tried, but got both legs in one hole. I took them off for her and turned them round the right way. "Noo!! Don't take them off me!" she cried. I tried to tell her that I was helping her, but she wasn't having any of it, and snatched them off me and tried to get them on again. This time she got both legs in the right holes, but they were back to front. Fearing the reaction, I gingerly suggested she take them off and try again. "No!!!" was the predictable response. I told her she had to turn them round, and took them off her, at which point she disolved into tears. While she sobbed "You did steal my Peppa Pig knickers, mummy!" I managed to help her get them on correctly as far as her ankles. "Me do it!" she yelled at me. I let go, and she then sat there with her knickers round her ankles and a mutinous look on her face. I suggested she pulled them up. "No!" was the defiant response. I tried to pull them up for her. "Me do it!" Sigh...

OK. Knickers finally on. Next item on the agenda - skirt. Wrong. "I want trousers on!". So I dug some trousers out for her, and then of course she picked up the discarded skirt."I want this on!"

Fine. Skirt on. Top. I got out a t-shirt and cardigan. We got her head and one arm in the t-shirt, and she started wailing "I want my cardigan on! This on first!" Patiently I explained that the cardigan has to go on over the t-shirt, not the other way around.

Socks were actually fairly uneventful, at which point we made our way downstairs for breakfast. Bread, honey and bacon was her order, but Alex and I fancied fried eggs so I cracked a couple into the frying pan. "I don't want that!" she yelled. I patiently explained she wouldn't be getting an egg, they were for me and Alex. "I want egg!" "Egg, or no egg?" I enquired. "No egg."

I gave her her plate and she looked down suddenly at her legs and said, like it was a big shock to her, "I haven't got trousers on!" "No, you wanted to wear a skirt," I reminded her. "I don't want a skirt on! I want trousers!" she wailed, and clambered down from her chair and tried to pull her skirt off. I reassured her that we could change her after breakfast, and fortunately she then climbed up onto her chair and began eating.

Alex came and sat down for his breakfast. "I want more bacon!" wailed Hannah. "You've already got bacon," Alex pointed out reasonably. "I not talking to you, Alex," grumped Hannah.

Alex turned to me and said "She is in a grumpy mood today, isn't she. Shall we ignore her while she is in a grumpy mood?" I said that might be a good idea. Hannah then sulkily told us "I NOT in a grumpy mood, I just NICE!".

Toddlers. Who'd 'ave 'em?

Everybody needs a belly for a pillow

2007-03-27T11:32:00.000Z

Praise be to British Summer Time!

2007-03-26T19:46:00.000Z

One day after the clocks went forward and it was warm, and light enough for the kids to play outside in the garden after school.

Alex honed his football skills.

The kids even ate their tea outside!

Shame about the view in the other direction, though...

At some stage we will get our house and garden back, with a roof that works!

Get the name right, mum...

2007-03-26T09:16:00.000Z

Hannah helped me with something this morning, so I said "Thank you Hannah, you're a superstar." She looked at me crossly and told me quite firmly "I'm not a superstar, I'm Hannah May Clarke!"

Schools

2007-03-20T12:16:00.000Z

We've decided, I think (or at least Pierre seemed to agree with me last time we spoke about it), to move Alex and Hannah across to the new lower school here from September, rather than leave Alex where he is for another year or so. This is partly because Hannah can start in the school's nursery from January, and I can't do school runs in two seperate places, so Alex has to be there from that school year too.

Secondly given that we know he has to move into the Bedfordshire system at some point (we wouldn't get into Letchworth/Hertfordshire secondary schools from here), then it is kindest on him to move him earlier, before he gets too attached to his current school and friends, and before the kids here gel into friendship groups that will be hard to break into. If he goes in September the school will be brand new, and so will all the children be new together, so easy for him to make friends.

Thirdly we moved here partly because we liked the fact that it will be like a newly built village - it's surrounded by fields and not linked directly to an existing town - and the easiest way to tap into any new community spirit and make local friends with kids the same age will surely be through the school. I imagine as all the children are starting at the same time and it's a brand new school, then the parents of those children will gel pretty well and get stuck into things like the PTA. I hope so, anyway.

Only doubts are the fact that it's a brand new school - we will be committing them to go there before it's operational and before we've seen it in action, so it's somewhat of a leap of faith! Also they think numbers in years 1 and 2 will be quite low initially, so they are planning to combine those years into a single class. That means that Alex, as a summer baby in Year 1, will be almost two years younger than Autumn babies in year 2. I'm not sure how they will manage catering to two year groups in a single class, and whether it'll be a good or bad thing for Alex to be the youngest in that class. It might make him stretch himself, but also means he might compare himself unfairly to kids who can do more than him purely because he's younger.

Alex does often moan that his current school is "too busy". There are 55 children in his class with two teachers and two teaching assistants, all in one open plan space. There are 7 year groups, all with up to 60 kids - so you can see how that is daunting for a small little 4 year old! The new school will only have 5 years (they switch to middle school in year 5), and only 30 children in each class - probably fewer in Alex's class - so he'll get loads more individual attention.

So - it's somewhat of a scary move we're making for our children, but hopefully it will be a good one for us all in the long run.

You'll like this. Not a lot, but you'll like it...

2007-03-10T12:45:00.000Z

Alex is into magic tricks. This is one he tried out on me yesterday.

Alex appears holding a shoe box lid with a chocolate bar on it. "Mummy look, I can do magic!"

Me - "Can you?"

Alex - "Yeah! Close your eyes!"

I close my eyes. I hear sound of running feet, a cupboard being opened and shut, more running feet.

Alex - "Open your eyes!"

I open my eyes. Alex is standing triumphantly holding the shoe box lid, sans chocolate bar.

Alex - "look! it's gone!"

Me - "Wow!"

Alex - "Close your eyes again!"

I do. More running feet, cupboard doors being opened and shut, running feet, then:

"Open your eyes!"

Ta da! The chocolate bar has reappeared!

He's so chuffed with himself, bless him.

Alex and Hannah at play

2007-03-10T12:26:00.000Z

Our children have just spent the last twenty minutes zooming around the house with cars and buses on their hands and knees, playing nicely. Thought I'd share an assortment of their conversations as they did so.

Alex (with a bus): where do you want to go, Hannah?
Hannah: France!
Alex: OK. Are you on? Hold on tight, we're going!

Alex: That is my line where I drive and that is your line, Hannah.
Hannah: And that the petrol station, 'K?

Alex: No, you go that way, I'm going to my home because I've got chicken pox, OK?
Hannah: I'm poorly too!
Alex: No you not poorly, I'm poorly. (Zooms into the lounge and jiggles his car around) I've got chickenpox! Oh no! Nasty chickenpox!
Hannah, from the other room: We here now! Everybody get out of my car!

Hannah, putting a green tractor in front of the mini she is 'driving': 'Scuse me missus! Get out of my way!

And suddenly the cars are abandoned and they're sitting happily with a Mr Potato Head each swapping eyes and ears.

Sibling harmony - rare but lovely!

Label-tastic!

2007-02-19T14:35:00.000Z

I've added labels to all the posts, so now you can pick a category from the list on the left and read all posts with that label attached.

Light and dark

2007-02-19T13:42:00.000Z

Alex, on Sunday morning:

"Mummy, I 'cided, I don't like the dark OR the light, because the dark is too dark, and light is TOO shiny!"

Hannah the athlete

2007-02-19T01:30:00.000Z

Hannah has this habit of wanting to run lengths of her bedroom when I'm trying to get her dressed... a typical interaction goes like this...

Me: "Hannah, come and get dressed!"

Hannah (stark naked): "I want to do running!!"

Me: "Hannah, you need to come and get dressed" (bearing in mind I usually have limited time until we have to get Alex to school).

Hannah: "I do a little bit of running!" (She runs to her wardrobe and touches it, runs to her window and touches it)

Me: "Hannah, right, enough running, time to come and get dressed, now!" *sounding stern...honest...*

Hannah: "I do a little bit and a tiny bit of running, then I stop, OK?"

Me: "One more tiny bit than that's it!" *pretending to be firm and give false impression of control over situation*

Hannah: *runs to wardobe* "a little bit! *runs to window* "a tiny bit!", *runs to wardrobe and back again "NOTHING!"

Hannah: *stops running*..."I get my trousers on now!" She then comes and gets her clothes on with no fight at all...

The Faraway Tree

2007-02-19T01:16:00.000Z

On a similar theme to the last post...

Alex just does not accept the 'because I say so' explanations for anything. He needs to know why and exactly how things happen. We've been reading the Magic Faraway Tree books by Enid Blyton to him. We get to the part where other lands are moving around at the top of the Faraway Tree, and where most children (well, I did, anyway!) accepted the 'because it's magic' explanation, Alex's reaction is "how do the lands move around the top of the tree?"

I told him I didn't know, it was just magic. He asked "But what machinery would make the lands move around?"

I told him I didn't know, it was just a story and was all just made up magic.

He then started giving me speculative theories as to what kind of machinery might make the lands move around the top of the Faraway Tree...

What do you reckon...engineer? Physicist? Architect? Surveyor? Something along those lines...*slaps wrist for planning out child's future at age of 4*...

Alex's prayers

2007-02-19T00:23:00.000Z

Alex is very curious about his great-grandmother, who died when he was one, at the moment, I think because her name was Dora (the explorer) and it's caught his imagination. He calls her "my Dora". Anyway. He's been asking about God and Heaven and stuff a lot, and tonight asked to do prayers with Pierre. Apparently this is what he said:

Pierre - God bless Mummy and Daddy,

Alex - God bless all my family, God bless everyone.
[Thinks]. God, do you sleep up there?
[Thinks] Do you eat?
[Thinks again] - oh, and does my Dora (I'm Alex by the way) does my Dora like it up there?
Goodnight God!

Let it snow...

2007-02-08T21:05:00.000Z

School was closed for the day today. I know. 10cm of snow and the country grinds to a halt. Ridiculous! Anyway - we met up with friends. 13 children under 7, two sledges and much fun had by all!

I'm artistic!! :-p

2007-02-04T17:14:00.000Z

I've been playing with Mum's oil paints. This is the result. Whaddya think?

Alex can read!!

2007-02-02T23:12:00.000Z

Well, a bit. He has had a box of 36 basic words from school and once he'd learned 20 he got his first reading book. He got there after about 10 days. His first book is very basic - it says "Tom and Mum" on every page - all five of them! And nothing else. But suddenly you can see it clicking what words are all about. We went to Toys R Us today and he said look, that says "Toys" doesn't it, and was able to sound out "U-S" - needless to say the backwards R confused him, but for the first time he's getting what the letters and words are for. It's lovely.

Roof update

2007-02-02T22:47:00.000Z

Some of you know, some don't, that we have had MAJOR roof problems since moving in here. We've had random slates falling off, and have been complaining since we moved in. It took the January gales that ripped half our roof off for them to take us seriously, though. (See pics). After the latest storm in which we had dirty great big bits of heavy lead flashing land outside both front and back doors, lost dozens of slates, one of which impaled itself point first next to the driveway where the run to the car, they finally agreed liability. Soon we will have to endure about 6-8 weeks of scaffolding round the entire house while they pretty much re-roof it. Fortunately they are getting it independently inspected both during and after the works so all being well we will finally have a roof that does what it says on the tin

Bless you!

2007-01-29T17:28:00.000Z

Hannah, after sneezing:

"I got a windy nose!!"

It's official. I am a domestic goddess!

2007-01-13T17:43:00.000Z

I'm feeling very smug. I had a lie in until 9.30 and arose to find the entire contents of the playroom and more besides strewn across the downstairs of the house. Pierre was sitting there looking at lingerie (for me, not him, obviously. At least I hope so!) on the internet absolutely oblivious. He very soon went off to the football (Watford-Liverpool), and so after he departed, I got myself and kids washed and dressed, tidied the downstairs up, in some cases put the same things away 3 times (kids very good at untidying behind me), unloaded, re-loaded dishwasher and cleared up kitchen, put two loads of clean washing away, stripped Alex's bed (he wet himself last night), washed, tumbled dried and put bedding back on bed, made carrot and leek soup, from scratch (Mum, Dad, Helen, and all others familiar with my culinary skills - don't die of shock - I really did!), fed soup to children, got Hannah to bed, and watched Alex perform a puppet show from behind two dining room chairs and a blanket. Just about to wake Hannah up to go to soft play, and when we get home I expect Pierre (who should be in a good mood because Liverpool are winning), to fall down in wondrous awe of his glorious wife and children and wait on me hand and foot for the rest of the evening.

Ah...something fat, pink and with wings has just flown overhead. Oh well...

Write chicken nuggets!

2007-01-12T09:50:00.000Z

Hannah is, as I type, having a tantrum. A proper, snotty-nosed, red and blotchy, crying for 10 minutes-type tantrum. Why? Because she can't write chicken nuggets. The girl is two!!

She has approached me with pencil and notebook and demanded - "write chicken nuggets! write my name!" So I did. Then she said "I write chicken nuggets!" So I said go on then. Cue tantrum. It appears that she doesn't just want to pretend write, she wants to properly write. I suggested I write a letter for her to copy, but the tantrum went up a notch and she wailed "I waaaant to wrrrite by myyyyseeellllfff!!!" I tried explaning children of two and a bit aren't generally known for their writing skills, but she's having none of it.

I'm not actually sure what to do next, as she won't pretend write, won't let me show her, and is just wailing "I want to write chicken nuggets, I want to do it" so I'm hoping if I ignore her she'll get bored and calm down.

Ah...she's just stopped crying and demanded I draw a monkey, a dinosaur AND a car. I attempted the first two, but she wasn't happy with the car ("Not THAT car!") and she's snatched the pencil off me and started crying again. Oh, now I've got to draw a fish. I just did, and she's wailing "No, not a little fish, a big fish!!!".

Diva.

Check out my Slide Show!

2007-01-09T21:34:00.001Z

"I'm going to Big School today!"

2007-01-09T21:20:00.000Z

"I'm going to big school today!" is what Alex was yelling as I was taking this picture. So excited, bless him. The first day he was a bit wobbly, second day he had to be prised off me in tears, and the third day he was pretty much OK. He's worried about the bigger children in the playground but he told the teacher today and she said she'd look after him which seemed to reassure him. He told me today he smiled and laughed in the playground because there was a tree with a bench round it, which he thought was very funny and he hadn't seen one before. He said he, Zach, Alex Efford and Pavan ran round and round it. Judging by the scuffed-ness of his shiny new school shoes he's doing quite a lot of running around! He doesn't like the 'pooter games because he can't do the phonics ones (but his best thing today was the 'pooter game he played - non-phonics!) and his very best thing is school dinners.

Comments, please?

2007-01-02T20:43:00.000Z

Did you know you can leave comments on this blog? If the urge strikes you, please do so. There's a little comments link at the bottom of each post. It would be nice to know that someone other than me reads this!!

Etiquette for tea?

2007-01-02T20:36:00.000Z

The other evening at tea time Alex was having a Pepperami for pudding (I know! Blame his father!). He dropped the wrapper on the floor, so of course I asked him to pick it up and put it in the bin, and added "have some manners, Alex!".

Hannah, from her seat at the table, and never one to be left out, piped up "I want some manners, too!"

Ever alert to a possible new and as-yet-undiscovered food source, our daughter!!

Happy New Year!

2007-01-02T20:29:00.000Z

Happy 2007, everyone. Hope your festive season was full of good will, good cheer, and merriment. Not to mention shed-loads of presents!

We had a good one staying with Pierre's parents in Bolton. Everyone was thoroughly spoiled both food and present-wise.

All four of us are doing well as we go into the New Year. Hannah is absolutely charming everyone at the moment, and is very, very funny. If she' s asked to do something when she's not ready, she tells us "Not yet! Two minutes, 'k?". Such a grown up phrase to hear from a little girl of two and a bit. No idea where she's got that from...*blush*...

Alex has 3 more sleeps until his first day at big school. Will post with the obligatory uniform pic after the Big Day...!

Alex's school report

2006-12-08T18:25:00.000Z

Alex has just had his first school report home - his leaving nursery / moving up to school report. It says "Alex is a very friendly, happy, sociable boy who has made excellent progress in all areas of his development but especially with his confidence. He mixes very well with his peers, will stand up for himself and will even take the lead during play. He is very confident during circle time now and volunteers information and makes good explanations. Well done Alex!" and later - "Alex is a lovely boy with an endearing personality. He tries very hard and loves to be praised. He has been a pleasure to teach and we will all miss him! Good luck Alex!"

I know they can't say anything negative in these things but it's good to hear nice things about your child, isn't it? Especially when at home he's generally grumpy, whiny, sulky, and refuses to try anything unless he feels like it at the moment. At least he pulls out the stops at school, even if not at home!

Sweetness!

2006-12-04T21:30:00.000Z

Hannah has got to be the sweetest tantrum thrower I've ever known. She usually starts crying, then declares mid-sob "Hannah lie down!", and does so. She lies on her tummy sobbing woefully for a minute or so, then gets up and comes to you and says "Want a cuddle!". Tantrum over. Easy peasy!

The other thing she's started doing mid-paddy is to say amid her cries "I want to stop crying!". So you say "ok, then, stop crying!" And she says (still sobbing) "Ok.". And stops. Just like that.